If you don't like angst, don't read this

So, I'm sick in bed today. I feel like I have Giardia or Crypto or something. Actually, I'm on the couch at the moment, reveling in the glory that is Tivo. I tried to watch the Olympics, but I couldn't get excited about water polo or softball. I'm so tired that I can't even manage to open the package I got today to play with the stuff I ordered from Pottery Barn.

It costs me a lot of money to miss work (contractors don't get sick days), so you can assume that I'm sick as a dog.

I was supposed to do lunch with friends today, and show them the new house and stuff. I sent mail off and didn't hear back until well after lunch, so I suspect that wasn't going to happen anyway.[1] Of course, it's sort of irrelevant considering how crappy I feel today.

I know I haven't been very interesting lately, and frankly it's because I'm not writing about any of the interesting stuff. I don't want to piss other people off, and I've been having some problems that I haven't really wanted to discuss here.

Let me just say that I've taken on way too much, that I'm under a lot of stress and that virtually everyone disappoints me. That may not be the fault of my friends, co-workers or business contacts because I feel totally put upon these days and I suppose I'm looking for someone else to take on more of the burden (not Tino necessarily. He's pretty well burdened already what with doing the work of three people and my impending insanity).

I'm also still pissed off about an exchange I read on the old newsgroup. I fail to understand why someone feels the need to take pot shots at all of us who are doing the diaryland thing. If you don't like it, don't read it. To be honest, I think it's a better format for all of us. We all seem to have a lot to say, and talking about ourselves on a mailing list (the successor to the newsgroup) isn't really a good use of the format anyway. The whole point of a diary is, after all, to work out one's thoughts by writing them down. Don't like our drivel? Don't read it. I've tried not to judge this guy even though all my other friends have given up on him...but now I'm really wondering why. See what I mean about people disappointing me? It's everywhere. I mean I feel personally bitch-slapped by him now (for being self-absorbed and a poor writer, the criticism levelled at us all[2]), and if there's one thing I don't need, it's that. Granted, the accusations were levied at the whole group, but I thought we were friends, ya know?

I wish I could be the sort of person that didn't care what other people thought, was emotionally self-sufficient and didn't really need social contacts, but I'm just not that person.[3]

I will say that I have one friend that has not let me down, and has in fact been there for me twice just this summer. So thanks, RP. I wouldn't want you to think I didn't notice or that I was implicating you in my misery.