Swat Someone at MS For Me

OK, I want to swat someone at Microsoft (again).

Note to MS: UPPER AND LOWERCASE ARE NOT FUCKING EQUIVALENT, NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY.

The VLOOKUP function will not differentiate between upper and lower case when matching. This is ABSURD. MS seems capable of alphabetizing, so what the hell is the problem? Obviously, Excel can recognize upper and lower, so why cripple this one function?

Bastards.